Empathy Is the Secret Ingredient in a Successful Parenting Plan

When divorce lawyers tell you that it is worthwhile to draft a meticulously detailed parenting plan, even if it means spending more hours in mediation, they are not just saying it because you are paying them by the hour.  Parenting plans that spell out all the details about transportation, three-day weekends, and extracurricular activities, can prevent a lot of the co-parenting conflict that can make you want to count the days until your children are grown up and you officially no longer have to co-parent with your ex-spouse.  Some aspects of co-parenting are beyond the scope of even the most thorough parenting plan, though.  Parenting plans are not about money; the child support order is separate from the parenting plan, and it addresses child support payments made from one parent to the other, as well as the parents’ respective responsibilities for paying for children’s health insurance and healthcare expenses that insurance does not cover.  It also does not address the civility or enmity with which the parents interact with each other.  For help drafting a parenting plan and setting the framework for a successful co-parenting relationship, contact a Boca Raton child custody lawyer.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Your Co-Parent Pushes Your Buttons

Some parents truly cannot get along with each other; every time they talk to each other, it turns into a fight.  If you and your ex are sworn enemies, the court might order them to communicate through a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard, or it might enlist the help of the school bus or an extended family member as an intermediary so that the parents rarely have to deal with each other directly.

This is probably not your situation, though; your anger is just a garden variety case of your ex-spouse’s behavior after your divorce opening old wounds from your marriage.  Resist the urge to tell your children, or adults within earshot of your children, all your grievances about your ex’s past and present actions.  Instead, you should take the same attitude as you would take if you were in marriage counseling, trying to live peacefully with your spouse.

In other words, think about your spouse’s old wounds that are underlying his or her controlling behavior or efforts to win your children’s love by giving into their wishes.  Which of your ex’s fears or aspirations are underlying this?  Even if you cannot talk to your ex-spouse directly about these issues, looking at the big picture can help you approach the situation with more emotional maturity.  You will be in a better position to help your children resolve their conflicts with your ex, instead of using your children as pawns in a forever war based on old grudges.

Contact Schwartz | White About Keeping the Peace in Your Family After Divorce

A South Florida family law attorney can help you draft a parenting plan and navigate your co-parenting relationship.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

cnbc.com/2025/02/16/psychologist-says-couples-who-can-answer-these-questions-correctly-have-stronger-relationships-than-most.html