If Not Collaborative Co-Parenting, Then What?

There are two types of divorced parents in the world, those who believe that life is too short to be considerate of the ex-spouse who broke their heart, and those who have enough emotional maturity that, by antagonizing their exes, they are only making their children suffer.  The reality is that co-parenting with your ex-spouse is hard.  Even couples who seem to have an enviably peaceful co-parenting relationship probably have more angst about the whole endeavor than you realize.  Mom and Stepmom might text each other smiley emojis about pictures of the kids shopping for a birthday present for Dad and baking him a cake, but the night before the party, they are scrolling through wine mom memes and counting the days until the kids are grown up and they can tell someone how they really feel.  Collaborative co-parenting is the ideal way to coparent, but it isn’t possible for everyone.  In a collaborative co-parenting relationship, both parents follow the parenting plan, and they can discuss their children’s plans, successes, and challenges whenever they like.  Not everyone can have such an easy relationship with their ex, though.  A Boca Raton child custody lawyer can help you draft a parenting plan that will enable you to keep the peace.

Conflicted Coparenting Is the Default Option, and It Isn’t Pretty

Parenting is often a venue of conflict for couples, even those who have no intention of divorcing.  If your parents had a horrible divorce, or if they had such a horrible marriage that you wished they would divorce, then you probably witnessed conflicted coparenting.  The parents fight openly.  They freely air their grievances about each other in front of their children when the other parent is not present.  Each parent ignores or openly defies the rules set by the other.  The children get nothing out of the situation but fear and chaos.

Parallel Parenting Is the Next Best Thing to Not Having to Deal With Your Ex

A court-ordered parenting plan can protect you from the nightmare of conflicted coparenting; in fact, this is one of its main purposes.  It cannot, however, make it possible for you and your ex to get along well enough to handle routine interactions in front of your children; some people’s divorces are just too messy and painful for that.  Your parenting plan establishes where the children should be when, and who has the final decision about what.  As long as you and your ex follow the parenting plan, you don’t have to talk to each other.  This is called parallel parenting, and the courts sometimes recommend it in high conflict divorces.  The parents stay out of each other’s business about parenting, and when they need to communicate, they do so over email or through their lawyers.

Contact Schwartz | White About High Conflict Co-Parenting Situations

A South Florida family law attorney can help you if you and your ex-spouse disagree about co-parenting and everything else.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

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